European Weirdness (American version.)

I’m an American that’s traveled a bit around the States and the Caribbean, however it took me until age 37 to make it to Europe. I’ve always wanted to go, but I allowed life to get in the way. Keeping a promise to my daughter that we’d make it to London before she graduated High School spurred this trip forward.

I say that to say this, I am well aware that five countries (England, Czech, Hungary, Croatia and Bosnia) in 3 weeks does not make me an expert on Europe. I’m sharing what I personally observed, so where I'm terribly wrong, just tell me. No need to accuse me of being a short sighted American, I have a teenager remember? I get a consistent dose of eye rolls to remind me daily just how little I know.

This article is meant to educate non-Europeans like me, after all, you can only do so much research online. Also for people who might find this funny. And lastly, people who are bored as turtle sunning on a rock with nothing else to do.

Bathrooms

Lights. I wonder if it’s a common childhood prank to turn someone’s light out while they are in the shower? Out of the 6 apartments not one bathroom light switch was inside the bathroom. Can all Europeans shower in the dark for this reason? If you lived with me, you'd be able to, cause that's just too funny and tempting. And no, we never got used to it. We had a running silent joke as one of us would walk in to the bathroom, sigh, walk out, make eye contact with the other, laugh our butts off, aggressively mash light switch, turn and march back into the bathroom.

Shower spray. Only 1 in 6 bathrooms had a shower door or curtain that contained all the water. Ones that had curtains had clothe curtains that absorbed the water getting soaked rather than the vinyl or plastic ones we have in the States. Most bathrooms had drains in the floor, for this reason I presume? Are plastic or full glass doors illegal? Maybe everyone takes baths and we are weird for our shower obsession? And yes, we stayed in nice apartments, most four star. And like this one, many heads were in the middle of the tub! Even if you do hang the head for hands-free use, where the heck do you point it?

In England and Hungary we had had skinny but longer tubs with a handheld shower thingy mounted on the wall. The handheld shower thingy is too short or pointed in the wrong direction for a proper shower – and I’m only 5’3"! Split, Coratia was awesome, a proper high shower (still had an additional hand held) AND the shower closed all the way- score! Croatia was all showers, no tubs but the water containment was still iffy.

If your host doesn’t tell you, most bathrooms have a small water heater in or near them. They often have a switch on the wall right next to your light switch, just to screw with you. Make sure you don’t turn it off. Most are marked, but if you see a switch already on near your bathroom with no sign, assume its your water heater and leave it alone unless of course cold showers are your thing. Ok enough about bathrooms.

Oh wait, public toilets (yup that's the correct way to refer to them, not restrooms. Water Closet or Toilet, but you probably watched enough TV to know that.) Yes, sometimes you do have to pay to use the bathroom. We avoided this all but once by always going, whether we needed to or not, before leaving our flat and every time we ate. When you use the local currency you brought with you, get some change and keep it with you. Its usually not much, and it stresses out the poor woman working there trying to break your larger bill. You'll need smaller bills for tipping anyway. (Side-note, unless you've researched ahead and know for sure its rude to tip in the situation, tip! Everyone knows Americans are used to tipping so be a good American and leave extra.)

Random note - Raven LOVED that all the bathrooms were peek free. All had full doors with no side gaps and little feet gaps, not sure why most American bathrooms can't manage this.

Laundry.

Depending on the machine, a master's degree may be required.

We chose to use only one carry-on each and a book bag for our three weeks and as I hang in the Oslo airport writing this at the end of our journey I still do not regret it, but that's another post.

Twice we had a washer that also claimed to dry your clothes. This is a marketing myth. None of them actually dry your clothes. Its an accepted fact that the dryer part either works so slowly it isn’t worth it or that part breaks anyway, so don't bother.

Plan time to hang your clothes to dry and ask your host where the iron is when they show you around in case you have to quick dry or want them to be a little softer. (Your hair dryer will barely dry your hair much less your clothes.) Americans are used to fluffy dryer clothes, but we found that ours were quite soft if the detergent pod had softener and if we hung them in the sun to dry. On a rainy day, drying your clothes inside will take forever, plan for it. (Overnight will not be enough for more than undies.)

Some laundry moments were awesome!

Also, for some reason many of the standard wash cycles on these things take 3 hours!! Ask your host to show you how their washer works AND how to use the quick cycle. One of ours had a 15 min quick wash and it worked great. I usually figure out electronics on my own and very easily. Some of these things made NO sense, so ignore your pride and just ask. Some were clear as a bell, so check before your host walks away.

Stairs & Cobblestones. If you have trouble with stairs, you need to plan your Europe trip VERY carefully and still I have no idea how you will avoid them. Out of 6 places all had stairs, at least half had more than 50 (and that was just our accommodations, there were more throughout. People warned me of this, I still didn't get the extent of it. We loved Zadar, Split and Hvar Croatia, but we will now refer to Dubrovnik, Croatia as the City of Stairs, From our fabulous apartment with a great view, we walked 300 stairs to reach the center of Old Town, yes, we counted.

Oh the stairs.....

The cobblestones of ALL kinds are not just in the cute historical places. They. Are. Every. Where. So caress your stylish high heels, tell them you love them and promise to come home to them soon. Then, put them back in your closet. This goes for your giant suitcase and anything with leggy wheels. I don't know how else to refer to these cases with wheels on the end of a little leg, many cases have these. Ours look more like tires and are built into the case and we rolled along as others struggled. See my Must Haves post for a pic and more information. While I'm on cases, we also noticed people fighting to keep hold of the four wheeled ones that easily roll in all directions on flat ground. I can't tell you how many trains, plane transport buses, ferries and metros we were on where we watched people struggle to keep the easy rollers from rolling out the door or into other people. Our two-wheeled rolled easily but stayed put and saved us from luggage wrestling matches.

Eating Out.

We have yet to have tap water at a restaurant, if you ask for water they bring it in a glass bottle, usually labeled, charge you for it (so still and sparkling are often the same unlike home where tap is free and sparkling is not.) The water is great in Croatia, but most places still did not offer tap, ask anyway just in case though, we did find one. It isn’t expensive or anything its just a difference.

England and Bakeries

Maybe we were blind, but with England so close to France we were hoping for amazing bakeries. We often walked into a coffee shop that looked like a bakery type place only to find basic stale looking croissants. We saw several places with a wall of open bread, and while that might look cool – it was dry as hell. Now, I’m sure we were in the wrong area so don’t yell at me for claiming England has no fresh bread, I just went in assuming it would be around every corner.

I miss bagels! And I live in the south, so I’m not even used to getting regular fresh bagels! Funny side note, we once saw a sign in Budapest advertising different breakfast offerings. They had bagels with smoked salmon listed as Miami style, which as we all know is really New York style that has merely migrated to Miami with the snowbirds. (We, of course already ate and had no time for bagels that day.

I know I'm forgetting a few things. OH! Bring your own wash clothes! I suggest little baby ones cause they're just enough and dry fast, but not one place provided anything smaller than a large hand towel and many just a bath towel. Ok, maybe now I'm done. And remember, I know the US is weird too. Let's embrace the weirdness, just prepare for it as well.